The journey of healing is a long one for those who’ve been victims of narcissistic abuse. It’s a path of learning to trust ourselves again, realizing that we aren’t “unhinged”, despite being convinced that the sky is pink when we know in our hearts it’s blue. I remember feeling as though I lost my “side of the story.” Why didn’t it matter? Why didn’t I matter?

After many years spent learning about narcissistic abuse, I finally got the answer to my question. Narcissists never ask for your side of the story because their story about you fits the description of how they want to feel about you. Read that again. This realization played a crucial step towards reclaiming my strength and authenticity.

Narcissistic abuse, by its very nature, thrives on distortion and manipulation. It seeks to rewrite your reality, to diminish your worth and to isolate you from anyone who may have your back. And not just from others, but from your own sense of self. The aftermath leaves you not only fighting to heal your brokenness but also struggling to correct the skewed perception of your own identity.

But the truth is: your healing and worth are not contingent on the approval, understanding, or validation of those who choose to see only what they want to see. Your journey is about reconnecting with your essence, your strength, and your voice — regardless of who listens or understands.

THE POWER OF SHARING YOUR STORY

Reading about other’s experiences, and the act of sharing yours is an exercise in vulnerability and strength that can provide healing and connection. Doing so not only validates your reality but also reclaims the narrative of your life; a narrative that once you bring to the surface, you can change.

This process of externalizing your journey lets you see your experiences from a new perspective, as a new person, who fosters understanding and compassion for herself. It breaks the isolation, reminding you that you are not alone or crazy. The resonance of your story with others allows for mutual healing to happen. As you share, you also give others an opportunity to acknowledge and voice their own stories.

Validating your reality, particularly in the aftermath of a narcissistic relationship that left you doubting your perceptions or worth, is crucial for healing. It’s important that your feelings, experiences, and questions are legitimate and deserving of acknowledgment. This validation, whether it comes from inside of you, through self-reflection and self-compassion, or from the empathy of others, reinforces your sense of self and helps rebuild the trust in your own experiences that trauma likely took from you. In recognizing the truth of your own story, you lay the groundwork for healing.

FINDING YOUR VOICE AGAIN

This is the tough part. I promise you though, your voice — your truth — it’s all there. Start small. Journaling, art, music, or any form of expression that feels authentic to you can be a powerful tool in finding yourself again. I was a singer my entire young adult life, and I completely lost my voice. Nothing could come out. It was as though his hands were around my throat, preventing me from expressing anything in my heart.

As you heal, this part gets easier. You’ll start to understand that your life is not a story that is supposed to be edited or erased by those who can’t see the full picture. Your worth is inherent and non-negotiable. Your story comes from the meaning you give your experiences. Honour the past, let it come up, do what it has to do, and then you can start to create your future moving formward, on your terms.

MOVING FORWARD

It doesn’t matter who does or doesn’t see you. To every woman who has ever felt “erased”, misunderstood, or ignored, know this: you don’t need the acceptance of those who refuse to see you. Your path is carved by your resilience, your courage, and your commitment to YOUR truth.

Healing from narcissistic abuse is a testament to your strength. You’ve made it through. You’ve been given a beautiful opportunity to rediscover yourself again — your joy, your worth, and your ability to love and trust again — on your terms though. You’re now free, and on the path to building a life that’s authentic and fulfilling, no matter the narratives others choose to believe.

Some people may never ask for your side of the story because it doesn’t fit their own. But who cares? It doesn’t diminish the value of your experiences or the truth of your journey. Keep walking your path and hold your head high.

Your story is yours alone to tell — however you see fit, and it’s worth telling, with or without an audience.

Let’s embrace our stories of healing, support each other, and move forward with grace, strength, and the belief in our own worth. When we do, we free ourselves up to the creative power inside of us to write the epic that is our future.

I have a deep understanding of the unique challenges faced by single moms recovering from narcissistic abuse. I am a safe space for single moms to share their stories, validate their experiences, and embrace their strength.

It’s not JUST about healing from the past; it’s about igniting a future where every single mom can thrive and live empowered by her own narrative and unbreakable spirit.